There is no cookie cutter path to become a confident MTF Trans Woman. You will at times find yourself stumbling in your quest to embrace your femininity. When you stumble, find yourself envious, or compare yourself to other cis-woman, know that you are not alone. Many MTF Trans Women fall into the pit of comparing themselves with cis-women.
It is often said that comparison is the death of joy. In fact, it is one of the surest ways to lower your self-esteem. But how do you stop comparing yourself to others? Below are some valuable tips that will offer you an answer.
Realize that Comparing Yourself is Destructive
While comparing yourself to others is a fairly normal behavior, it can be self-destructive in many situations. This is because each person is their own worst critic, meaning when we compare ourselves to others, we tend to judge ourselves more harshly. The first step to stopping this behavior is by consciously realizing that it is destructive. You may always find cis-women to be pretty, but their beauty has nothing to do with yours. You are beautiful in your own way separate from them.
Focus on Yourself
For you to make positive strides on your journey to embrace your femininity, you should compare yourself only to yourself. When you look at yourself in the mirror, smile more vibrantly than you did yesterday. Think about what you have achieved and all your potential for the future. When you compare yourself to yourself instead of other cis-women, you will be more appreciative of your uniqueness. Additionally, this process helps you feel good about yourself without necessarily having to think less of others.
Be Kind and Polite
The way you treat others often reflects the way you feel about yourself. As a result, showing compassion for yourself allows you to be more compassionate towards others and vice versa. If you tend to criticize other people, you will likely be more critical of yourself. However, if you are kind to others, you will almost certainly be kind to yourself.
Focus on the Positives
Every person has flaws. A guaranteed way to magnify your flaws out of proportion is by comparing yourself with other people. People tend to present the best of themselves to the outside world both in person and on social media. You are likely comparing your flaws with the best the other person has to offer; it is not a fair comparison. Instead of comparing yourself with other people, try to focus on the positive aspects of yourself and your life. Make it a habit to think positively about yourself and others.
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If you have lived all your life in “male mode,” adjusting how you sit and walk can be challenging. However, that does not mean it’s impossible. As a rule of thumb, always make sure that your knees are together when seated; there is nothing that can kill your feminine posture more than sitting down with your legs apart. Also, it is important to keep your head up and your elbows in when walking. Tucking your elbows in makes your 