To be able to give love, you have to love yourself first. This is a hackneyed phrase but it really applies to everyone especially for trans women who are in a relationship with a woman.
When your closet gets loaded with all your girly stuff, you’ll have a difficult time choosing which one to wear. Just like in love, when you keep a lot of things hidden, it will be hard to make your relationship flourish. There should be transparency between two people so that both parties get to focus on nourishing their connection rather than keeping a secret.
Hiding anything from your partner will only bring you too much stress. She is constantly beside you and there’s no way you can stop her from noticing even the slightest changes in your ways.
It is understandable that you are concerned about how the woman in your life will react to you being a trans woman. But you should not focus on that because no matter how many times you think about it, you will not know her response until you tell her the real you.
True love knows no boundary. Your partner may not have the best reaction when she discovers you are a trans woman. But if her love is pure, she will eventually understand. If she lets love prevail, she will come to realize how wonderful it is to know you deeper. She will appreciate your honesty and she will take pleasure in seeing you exude with happiness the moment you go out in the open.
Admitting you are a trans woman does not make your love for your wife or girlfriend any less. Let her feel you would stand by her despite all the changes that are about to happen. The following tips can help you save your relationship with a woman as you try to enjoy your feminine side.
- The goal is to express yourself to your partner without inhibitions. Make it gentle until she gets used to it. Continue bonding with her but this time, you can share a more feminine activity together such as polishing your nails or taking on a skincare routine.
- Be consistent in reminding her how much she means to you. Let her know you love her and assure her that you will no longer keep a secret from her.
- Do not take it against her if there are times she will feel uncomfortable. Give her time to adjusting to the situation.
- When you feel like she has fully accepted it, you can be more articulate about the things that make you happy. Because she loves you for who you are, she’ll eventually find happiness in anything that pleases you.
- Make friends with other people but make sure she knows about it. You can join a transgender dating site and be honest about it. If you think she is not open about you having multiple sex partners, give her an assurance that you will not get into anything sexual.
- Ask her to learn more about transgender individuals by means of reading. She may also explore a transsexual dating site to advance her knowledge.
- Let her speak with women who have gone through the same experience so she’ll understand how to make your relationship work.
- Seek professional help if you have to. There are mediators who can help the two of you cope with this phase a lot easier.
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Lastly, be yourself. It makes no sense to put on a show for someone to impress or attract them. Whoever the person falls in love with should be who you really are and not a character you have created. Chances are this will not end well for anyone.
